I am not happy. Not quite sure why, but I have some theories. And it could very well be due to more than one of the below.

Maybe it's because all the fun is in the chasing, and now that I'm in the fire department the chase is over and I don't have anything to look forward to. I wanted to join for so long, and now I finally did it. Sure, I am excited about that, but a bright spot isn't enough to make everything dandy.

Dude, you're in the fire department!!! Boo ya! And what do you mean nothing to look forward to? Did you think joining the FD was all about being a peon who runs and gets shit and freaks when the oxygen is empty? Of course you didn't. You saw yourself as an EMT, taking charge of scenes, caring for patients, helping people. And you saw yourself as someday being an officer, being in charge and reforming the squad, once and for all taking care of the problems that you see going on now but can currently do nothing about. You have a long and exciting career ahead of yourself, so don't worry. Bottom line, you're in the fire department dude!!! You're in!!! In!!!!!

Maybe it's because I wasted my spring break. I didn't go out. I didn't hit the beach even once. I didn't spend all that much time with the family. I didn't see my friends enough. I didn't even really earn the week and a day off because I skipped school on the last day before break started. It didn't feel like spring break. I didn't get that feeling like I always do when I have time off: oh boy, this is going to be great! I didn't get that feeling about this week. Probably because I skipped school the day before and proceeded to spend all my time either at work, sleeping, or riding rescue. Mind you I love rescue, but still, I didn't take time to relax and recreate like I should have.

It happens. Yes life is short, but lets look at stats for a minute here. You're young. Statistics say you aren't going anywhere anytime soon. Therefore it's safe to say that if it is true that you screwed up and mishandled the incredibly gift of an entire week and a day off, then it's not the end of the world. Just see it as a learning experience, and do your best to make sure it doesn't happen again. Nobody's perfect, and as you like to say, you can't get 'em all.

Maybe it's because Easter didn't even feel like Easter this year. We didn't color eggs because I was working the night before. I was on rescue on Easter Sunday from 2 am to noon and then again from 6 pm to 6 the next morning. The only thing that make it feel remotely like Easter was the fact that we ate pineapple pancakes for breakfast. My stomach was bothering me because of the shock of waking up suddenly for that call, so I only ate 2 anyway.

See the above to understand my train of thought on this. It happens. You screwed up. You could have done it differently to make sure you got to spend more time with your family, but you didn't. Life sure is short, but statistics still say that you'll have a chance to try again and get it right.

Maybe it's because I've been so sleep deprived lately. I mean yeah, I slept 8 hours today, but prior that I had been up for close to 24. That takes a toll on you and it takes time to recover from that.

You're new. You are learning how to manage everything. You will get better and eventually will sleep more. Hey, you might even be able to sleep when you're on call! Remember, even though you are a volly, as they say, EMS stands for Earn Money Sleeping!!! If they can do it so can you!

Maybe it's because I'm probably a bit dehydrated since just about every beverage I have consumed in the last 48 hours has been either caffeinated or alcoholic. I know for a fact that dehydration makes me feel like shit.

You have water next to you. Drink it. The only downside is that you'll have to get out of bed to pee before you go to sleep!

Maybe it's because I am on the verge of one of my growing up freak outs. If that's the case, the fire dept (an adult activity) and/or our current unit in Spanish class, generaciones en movimiento, could be responsible.

Eh. It's possible, but I don't know if I'm really feeling one of those freak outs. They don't last all that long anyway. You'll be ok. And if it comes down to it, have a good cry and you'll be alright. I promise

Maybe it's because loss of headphones has lead to a significant drop in the amount of music I've been listening to lately, and music is so important to me.

Dude, you have a job. Don't be a cheapsteak, go out and buy a pair of freakin headphones.

Maybe it's because my first forthwith call went so badly and I looked like an idiot just looking at AV because I needed help until he asked why I kept looking at him.

You're new!!! You learned from it. Remember, communication is key. And the patient's life has to come before your desire to cover your agency's ass and/or make yourself and your crew and your agency look good!

See, you talked yourself down. You got yourself out of it. Good work! And a big thanks to this blog for providing the opportunity, or as a typo originally made it say, the pooportunity. LMFAO.