Kandace!!!

I often think about how different things could be if one small event had not happened. I realize that the way things are in my life-- everyone's life, for that matter, were almost not the way they are. I feel that many good (and bad) things almost did not happen. Let me use an example of how my friend yelling "Kandace!!!" changed my life for the better.

I've known my friend Rachel forever. We always have great times together and I consider her one of my best friends. One day we went for sushi lunch and on our way back she saw someone walking far ahead of us. She thought she knew the girl, and called to her loudly: "Kandace!!!"

I had only seen Kandace's facebook profile once, and all I knew about her was that she was in the fire department.

I have no reason to include the details about what transpired after Rachel called out to Kandace, all that is important is that Kandace is now a very good friend of mine and we see eachother almost every day.

Through Kandace I met and became friends with Merrick, who I hang out with all the time as well.

Bottom line- if Rachel had not yelled "Kandace!!!", I would have missed 2 of my very best friends, and my life would be extremely different than it is now. It's just a mind boggling thought, how close I came to missing the chance to share my life with these 2 wonderful people. In a sense, had I never met Kandace and Merrick, nothing bad would have happened. I would never have known they were potential friends of mine (before meeting them I was indeed aware that they existed). I would not have felt like I was missing out, but maybe in a way I would have. It takes significant maturity to understand that when it comes to friends, it really is quality, not quantity. Throughout my life I have never had many friends, and for many, many years I was never old enough to realize that that did not matter. I had my very small group of friends to whom I was very close, but I always took issue with the fact that I was not "popular" and didn't have 40 friends all vying for my attention. I thought the "cool kids" had it so good- all those friends! But now I realize that while having many friendly aquaintances is a good thing, you should not have to count on your toes when you are counting your true friends. I am perfectly happy with the true friends I have, and I can count them all on one hand. So although this post was originally about how we miss our life experieces by a hair, it has evolved into one I hereby dedicate to my best friends: Rachel, Kandace, Merrick, Charlie. You four are the best, and I love you all.

Alright, I'm doing it. This is going to be a long ass drawn out post. Nobody reads this crap anyway, so who gives a fuck.

In my cell phone I can send a text message to up to 10 people at a time. Since I started my job at a fast food restaurant, which is considered a high robbery risk place, I have thought of robbery scenarios that could go on time and time again. I was thinking, say they came in, stuffed us all in the walk in freezer, or under the desk in the office, or in a corner or something. If I thoguht it was safe, I would take out my phone and text 10 people and 10 people only a simple message- all that I would care for them to know if it were the last thing I said to them- "I love you". I have thought hard and long about who those people are, and here's my list.
1. Mom
2. Dad
3. Rachel
4. Kandace
5. Merrick
6. Charlie
7. Darlene (cousin)
8. Aunt Toni
9. Grandma
10. Lissette (friend- we've had some problems lately and aren't really speaking, but I would want her to know that I really did love and care about her very much)

Those 10 people would get that message if it were the last thing I did. I would not mind dying as much if I knew that the last those people heard from me was that I loved them.

When someone dies, you often miss the little things about them, the little things that came along with them. My dad doesn't drink milk. He just doesn't, hes not allergic or anything, just doesn't drink it. Instead he drinks Silk soy milk. Sometimes my mom complains about having to buy it, and how expensive it is, and how he gets pissed when she forgets to get it for him, considering she works in a grocery store (not in the you better do this wife beater kind of way, just in the uughhh kind of way). She made a joke at dinner tonight that if my dad died, she wouldn't have to buy soy milk anymore. I said I would not be able to have a refrigerator without soy milk. I would continue to buy it just because I couldnt't bear not seeing it in there when I opened the fridge. She just didn't get it. She almost talked about that whole situation like it really would be a good thing if something happened to him. Somehow, in that moment, I realized that I did not feel the same way about the prospect of the absence of her bottles of starbucks coffee that line the kitchen cabinets.